window pain.

I wear regret like a sleeve of chinese symbol tattoos
That all mean something obscene but truthfully I have no clue ...
You introduced me to my devil and made me bleed blue ..
Outside of my shell, I swallowed my hell until it grew ...

Old and rotten branches entwined with the afternoon dusk ...
I can't tell if mother nature created them through love or lust ...
I've been to heaven and I can say it's simply not enough ...
So I found my way from the night sky the way a painter finds it's brush ...

"I'm a dreamer aren't I?" I question myself as if I didn't know the answer ...
I hold my bottle of gin towards the side of my left pocket like a cancer ...
I drink so my problems drive home to court my dreams and romance her ..
I love this bottomless girl I've created but at the same time I can't stand her ...

Who are you?  

Why have you constantly stood outside my window pane ..
It may truly be sunny outside but I don't think it needs clouds to rain ... 
I've been the depths of the sea, top of every mountain and found this pain ...
That seems to control my very existence as if I could hold it and give it a name ..

"Nobody dreams anymore." 

I think, take a whisk from the chalace I so valiantly call my lonesome sorrow ...
Two left feet and a sense of wrong that still richocets from the bones I've borrowed ...
It holds hostage my tomorrow ... as if optimism is the last hope for this lonely astronaut ...
Who simply forgot all the things he's truly... got.  

Nothing seems real

It's all an illusion fused with some anti stimulus solution
Engraved in the markings of this liquid poison abusin' ... 

Lose feeling again.

I blink and for a second I catch wind of the blackness' true form outside of myself...
 No God to crutch on anymore ... no friends to call for help ...
I've exhausted all my options outside of this window pain ...
Inside of a house that doesn't want me as I feel the exact same ...

...a radio playing comes to echo the sound of an angel
I've found myself inside my hollow shell to be so painful
It reaches into my heart -- right through each one of the holes
Shines the light through to find the holiest of souls. 

Then I woke up.